Japan and midlife crisis

One of my favourite memories is seeing England play Brazil during the 2002 World Cup in Japan, even though I paid a fortune on the black market to a posh English boy, and even though we lost the game after going ahead.

The co-incidence of football and Japan, such a bizarre and interesting nation, made it essential I was there for it.

I heard another good story about Japan and football on the radio on the day of my birthday party:

My 35th birthday recently made me think about being middle-aged, even though I'm not sure when that officially begins. We played footy on the day of my birthday party, and I have to admit it was hard work against some of the 18-yr-old players. Even though Kelvin, who's almost 50, didn't embarrass himself.

There exists, in this country, amateur football leagues for 'veteran' players. These leagues, which allow unlimited substitutions, guarantee you won't be playing against young striplings. At what age will I be eligible?

One of these veteran players phoned in with the following story.

Our team, Midlife Crisis, had been challenged to a game by a visiting team of Japanese veterans. When we arrived at the venue, there were literally about 35 Japanese players waiting to play or come on as substitutes. They used loads of subsitutes.

Being Japanese, they were very organised. As these waves of substitutes came on, we found out that those wearing red shorts were the over-50 players, those wearing silver shorts were the over-60s, those wearing gold shorts were the over-70s, and the guy wearing the rainbow-coloured shorts was their over-80-year-old midfielder!

Only the Japanese ...