Serene Sunday

• Wake up and find the cat has recovered from its seemingly-terminal midnight illness;
• Watch Match of the Day and their analysis of Arsenal's win but Robert Pires's already-famous penalty cock-up;
• Go to Notting Hill Starbucks and buy the coffees and the Sunday Times;
• Read the Sunday Times while eating the perfect omlette-that-I-didn't-have-to-make: diced mushrooms, diced peppers, diced baby corn and cheese;
• Continue reading the Sunday Times Culture Section in the bath while listening to Michael Parkinson's interviews and jazz 'n' jive selections on Radio Two;
• Read a new New Yorker Magazine on the tube to Camden;
• Meet up with friends at Camden Market in the afternoon: Sharon, the Cockney comedy promoter who wants my act for her gig; Bazza, the Manc middle-aged comedian who always has a turnover of new young Eastern European girlfriends waiting for him at home; Rob, the Scottish actor with lots of sensible advice about making it in the business; Seamus, the Irish actor who's just finished a run of Macbeth and in the process discovered for the first time a love of Shakespeare; Mick, the Scottish labourer who's in love in Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet; Joezilla, the English nilhilist with a commitment to random acts of kindness;
• Break my Atkins diet regime sharing a huge portion of fresh chips with mayonnaise and ketchup, while watching Chelsea draw (rather than win) against bottom club Everton;
• In the evening go with these friends to a comedy club which has one other friend on the bill: Katy, the surrealist six-foot blonde; as well as a seemingly-incompetent but actually-very-funny middle-aged comedian; a hilarious razor-blade-swallowing magician; and a posh MC with a nice line in self-deprecation;
• Chat to Celts Seamus and Mick about their chances of scoring with the club's barmaids (rather good, it seems) and to Joezilla about our mutual hero Danny Wallace, Yes-Man and founder of Join Me, whose world-improving books I distributed as Christmas presents last winter;
• Return home late and curl up with the family: a sleeping-and-still-breathing cat and wife.