Hawk and Hawks

This is Tony Hawk. He is an American pro-sk8boarding champion, and the face of loads of skateboarding video games.




This is Tony Hawks. He is a very humorous, terribly English comedian and writer, well known as a contributor to TV and radio shows such as Have I got News for You, Whose Line is it Anyway?, and Grumpy Old Men, and for writing hilarious books about his experiences arising from stupid bets, like hitch-hiking Round Ireland with a Fridge, and Playing the Moldovans [national football team] at Tennis.

The similarity in their names, and disparity in their levels of fame, means that Tony Hawks receives many emails on his website from young sk8ter fans of Tony Hawk, congratulating him on his skateboarding prowess.

Rather than ignore these emails, Tony Hawks responds to many of these young fans, and has published a selection of this correspondence on the 'skateboarding section' of his website. Here's a few I liked, particularly the final one:

"Hi tony my name is justin coon. I skate too. your my biggest fan. I want to meet yo some time. so how your kids, and hows your neck. well bye know. "
Justin,
I must make this clear: I am not your biggest fan. I don't know you from Adam, and the chances are that if I did, I would still find you a somewhat unimpressive figure.
TH.

"hitony
my names william i was wandering if you could find me some cheats for "Tony Hawks pro skater 3" because i have tried some websites and i cant find any that work soif you can do that i'll be ever so grateful thanksWILLIAM"
William,
The best 'cheat' is to go to a store, find Pro Skater 3 and then leave the shop without paying for it. If they catch you, just say that I said it was OK.
PS. Remember that prison life can be hard.

"hey tony hawk like to say your the best my skate broad got broken when i was grinding on a pole could u send me a extra broad. cody "
Cody,
If there are any extra broads going - then I shall keep them to myself.TH

"When did you get inspired to skateboarding. Karla, age 10 "
Karla,
Last Thursday at 4.30pm
TH

"How long did it take to land the 900?
mr.me "
Mr. You,
Ages. Air traffic control made me circle Heathrow for forty minutes. TH

"Tony u is my number 1 fan I love the sk8ing you rox I loved the 9000 wot u did when r u coming to wigan I want to see u demo in wigan soon can I have ur autograph? "
I am not your number one fan and I'm certainly not coming to Wigan. TH

"I want to learn some of your tricks. "
And who, pray, is stopping you? TH

"hi can you send me tips "
yes. Here are two. Don't stand downwind of flatulent people, and try not to get involved in leapfrogging unicorns. TH

"hey tony!
I like tony hawks underground.I skate myself and i must say i cannot ollie.How is it done?Cheers for reading.
Samuel"
Samuel,
I like the way you finish your mail. 'Cheers for Reading'. At last someone else who appreciates this much maligned town. Reading is a wonderful place with an excellent one way system, efficient libraries, and a number of fine grass verges. On top of that, it is well-served by the M4 motorway, so it has easy access to places which are much, much nicer.
Goodbye. TH