James Richardson
Known for:
Presenting Football Italia on Channel 4 in the mid-1990s. This hour-long round-up of Italian football deliberately set out to create an aspirational lifestyle, with the highlight being when James would present to camera, sitting in a cafe with a massive icecream gelato sundae and an espresso. He would review the week's football papers, translating from the Italian into his own opinionated, hilarious, pun-tastic English.
Inspired by the carefully constructed lifestyle on the programme, I would invariably put on my most stylish designer suit if I went out straight after the programme.
Now he does a similar job with a bi-weekly review of European football, in one of my favourite regular podcasts, the Guardian Football Weekly. It's a joy travelling on the bus to Arsenal, listening to the week's football banter and reviews from England's Premier League, Spain's La Liga, Germany's Bundesliga and Italy's Serie A.
Seen: Shopping for expresso makers in the Oxford Street John Lewis.
Pun-tastic quotes:
[In a discussion over whether the Real Madrid coach Berndt Schuster was going to be sacked,]: 'Is Berndt toast?'
[The advert break ends and we see the balding James Richardson sat at a table in a piazza, large cathedral dome in the background]. "Welcome back, viewers," he says, "I'm the one on the left."
Ardal O'Hanlon was in attendance at one of the matches, and when the show returned after the half time advert break, there was James holding up a couple of little models of footballers explaining to Ardal that they were 'small', but the players down on the pitch were 'far away'! A genius homage to the Father Ted scene
"...and like a dyslexic ambulance there was some bad knee news..."
"... Ince's hard tackle on fresh young Totti..."
"...and he made off with more speed than a Scottish raver".
"as likely to score as a panda with a headache"
Ronaldo at Inter: "he gets played less than a Victoria Beckham record"
"Roma and Lazio, like Penelope Pitstop, are tied on points"
"This week, we've got the best top of the table action since The Postman Always Rings Twice"
When Lazio were pelted with manky apples and bananas after playing badly, "there was more flying fruit than a gay trapeze".
Shortly before the 1997 general election, Richardson ends the show "...and to quote 'Debbie Does Peking,' enjoy your election."
"So Gianluca Vialli, do you want to see a replay of your wondergoal last weekend then?" "No, I'm not that bothered" "But it's Gary Bloom commentating!" "Gary Bloom? Fantastico!"
"As the man said at the fender exhibition, it's a bumper show"
"What do Clarence Seedorf and Pete Doherty have in common ? They both get caught in possession an awful lot"
"A Chantelle and Preston of a game if ever there was one. With all the hype about the match it ends without any scoring"
“…the biggest derby since Terence Trent…”
"Gianluca Vialli, the legend who really put the T in Turin. And we should all be thankful that he did".
[In reference to the usually abusive Parma fans not hurling abuse in the direction of Alberto Malesani, who had broken his broken collar bone in a car crash]: 'Well, there's no point in boos when he's already plastered'.
"Roberto Mancini talks about his title aspirations, which is a comeback as improbable as Leo Sayer's but with a much better record"
Christian Ziege: "the rootin'- tootin' Teuton".
"I find cheese a great aid to creative writing, although medical science hasn't caught up with me on this yet."
“Day 14 of the World Cup couldn’t have been more dramatic if it was an ice dance remake of King Lear with Arjen Robben and Pippo Inzaghi…”
"It's said that if the Romans had been as bad as at making crosses as Attilio, Christianity may never have got started"
[Whilst talking about Sven taking up a director of football role with Inter] "Would Sven be partial to a role behind the desk ? Stop sniggering at the back!"
[Brazilian Ronaldo arrives in Florence's team Fiorentina]: "Ronaldo: a footballer so rich, even his teeth are big bucks."
and,
"Not since Zebedee said "Time for bed" has Florence been so excited."
[The advert break ends and we see the balding James Richardson sat at a table in a piazza, large cathedral dome in the background]. "Welcome back, viewers," he says, "I'm the one on the left."
Ardal O'Hanlon was in attendance at one of the matches, and when the show returned after the half time advert break, there was James holding up a couple of little models of footballers explaining to Ardal that they were 'small', but the players down on the pitch were 'far away'! A genius homage to the Father Ted scene
"...and like a dyslexic ambulance there was some bad knee news..."
"... Ince's hard tackle on fresh young Totti..."
"...and he made off with more speed than a Scottish raver".
"as likely to score as a panda with a headache"
Ronaldo at Inter: "he gets played less than a Victoria Beckham record"
"Roma and Lazio, like Penelope Pitstop, are tied on points"
"This week, we've got the best top of the table action since The Postman Always Rings Twice"
When Lazio were pelted with manky apples and bananas after playing badly, "there was more flying fruit than a gay trapeze".
Shortly before the 1997 general election, Richardson ends the show "...and to quote 'Debbie Does Peking,' enjoy your election."
"So Gianluca Vialli, do you want to see a replay of your wondergoal last weekend then?" "No, I'm not that bothered" "But it's Gary Bloom commentating!" "Gary Bloom? Fantastico!"
"As the man said at the fender exhibition, it's a bumper show"
"What do Clarence Seedorf and Pete Doherty have in common ? They both get caught in possession an awful lot"
"A Chantelle and Preston of a game if ever there was one. With all the hype about the match it ends without any scoring"
“…the biggest derby since Terence Trent…”
"Gianluca Vialli, the legend who really put the T in Turin. And we should all be thankful that he did".
[In reference to the usually abusive Parma fans not hurling abuse in the direction of Alberto Malesani, who had broken his broken collar bone in a car crash]: 'Well, there's no point in boos when he's already plastered'.
"Roberto Mancini talks about his title aspirations, which is a comeback as improbable as Leo Sayer's but with a much better record"
Christian Ziege: "the rootin'- tootin' Teuton".
"I find cheese a great aid to creative writing, although medical science hasn't caught up with me on this yet."
“Day 14 of the World Cup couldn’t have been more dramatic if it was an ice dance remake of King Lear with Arjen Robben and Pippo Inzaghi…”
"It's said that if the Romans had been as bad as at making crosses as Attilio, Christianity may never have got started"
[Whilst talking about Sven taking up a director of football role with Inter] "Would Sven be partial to a role behind the desk ? Stop sniggering at the back!"
[Brazilian Ronaldo arrives in Florence's team Fiorentina]: "Ronaldo: a footballer so rich, even his teeth are big bucks."
and,
"Not since Zebedee said "Time for bed" has Florence been so excited."
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